Choosing a Single Child

I love kids, the more the better. But after becoming a parent, I chose to have only one.

“Yes, I feel like having more at times but I have my own valid reasons to restrict ourselves. But the issue arises when I’m in the company of family & well-wishers.  They keep on insisting the need to have at least two kids. They have endless convincing reasons too – How it is beneficial for my kid’s mental health, sharing habits and upbringing. How it might be good for me in old age, etc. I listen and I don’t deny all points, I might not be agreeing with all though.  Now, I have a bigger problem. My kid himself has started asking for one more. Now I’m in a fix” – Neeta, 30 (a client).

You’ll understand the whole scenario better, if you are sailing in the same boat. It could be frustrating, distressing, a cause of tension and often puts a question mark over your own decisions.

Here’s what you need to repeatedly tell yourself – “A decision is never right or wrong, it’s just a decision, it will suit some but not all”. So, having only a kid or no kid at all, is YOUR decision. Most importantly, remember that your decision should suit you the most. Afterall, you cannot make everyone happy.

There might be endless reasons for your decision – financial, health, security, etc. Think of the long run. Yes, it might be pinching you currently – when you hear from other people but after all only you are the best judge of your life.

Don’t let yourself drown in the negativity of the thoughts. What if…. thoughts are ultimate disasters. They bring nothing but despair. Don’t let other people dictate your life. Be bold – talk about your issues with them, if you feel like discussing with them. But, do it without any expectations.

Raising a child is beautiful, raising two is ultimate joy but it comes with a lot of personal & social responsibility which should be taken with a clear head and open heart.

Rest, it is rightly said, “kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna”. So, whether you are unable to have a second one or don’t wish to have one more out of any personal reasons, it’s your decision. Feel confident & at peace about it. Be Bold – it’s your life, your choice.