Kids – The more, the merrier

I love kids, the more the better. And after giving it a through thought of 4 years, I decided to go for one more. Now, I have two little ones in my nest. Ever thought on the same lines…

This pandemic made me realize it even more, that how great this decision was. My kids have a constant company of each other in this pandemic induced lockdown. Fully enclosed in their home for all 24 hours is very difficult for all but kids get affected by it even more.

They need a company to learn sharing, caring, and a lot more. I am listening from many of my relatives, friends and clients that how difficult it is to manage their kids, this is especially coming from the ones who have only one single child.

It inspired me to write about the joy of two. Take the decision if you feel, you can handle the responsibility and especially if you have support at home. When I say support, I give more importance to mental support though of course physical support is necessary too.

Also remember, while you take this decision that there is actually no right or wrong decision in this regard. If you decide to go for one more, do it for yourself and no one else. You have the full right to take a decision but reach to a conscious judgement only after ample of pondering.

If you don’t have any health complications, financial constraints and you feel that you will be able to manage your career well then go for it. Having two kids is undoubtedly beneficial. Below are some fun pointers –

1. Even science says now, that lifestyle of parents with two kids somehow helps them live longer. “The risk of an early death increases by 18% for parents of an only child. Also, the risk is higher for parents of three or more kids. Scientists believe the lifestyle of parents with two kids somehow helps them live longer.”
2. Kids with siblings are happier and have a higher emotional support which is extended in adult life as well. And having those strong social bond may even contribute in living longer for both the parents and for the siblings too.
3. Not only mentally but have a second child is good for your elder one’s physical fitness also, as per scientific researches.
4. Kids boost each – other’s mental health. Sibling rivalry and fights all to certain extents help kids in understanding and controlling their own emotions.
5. Having kids at home definitely makes it a merrier place to live in if you are a kid lover and thereby adds to your happy hormones.

“Yes, I feel like having one more bundle of joy at times but I have my own valid reasons to restrict ourselves. But the issue arises when I’m in company of family & well-wishers.  They keep on insisting the need to have at least two kids. How it is going to be beneficial for my single kid’s mental health, sharing habits and upbringing. How it might be good for me in old age. I listen and I don’t deny all points, I might not be agreeing with all though. Now, I have a bigger problem. My kid himself has started asking for one more. “I need a sibling” – is turning into an often demand. Now I’m in a fix”. Ever heard these lines. If this resonates with you then please remember never fall in this trap. Never plan a kid just because you felt pressurized or because others told you so. Kids born out of pressure don’t live a happy life since the frustration lingers for years when parents consciously or unconsciously label their decision as a bad one. Evidently, single children too, can learn sharing and caring with conscious efforts and by modelling the home atmosphere.

You’ll understand the whole scenario better, if you are sailing in the same boat. It could be frustrating, distressing, a cause of tension and often puts a question mark over your decisions and relationships. Go for one kid or two, do whatever you want but it should have a consent of both partners and a thorough thought.

Please remember, having a second child in initial years is notrosy completely. You’ll have more work and less time for yourself. Though, as the years will progress, you’ll see your kids are more independent and lean on each – other more than being fully dependent on you. You get your more privacy and more time for each – other but later on. Being two together, kids don’t bring everything to parents immediately but try to deal with it in each – other’s company and therefore dependency over parents reduces in comparison of single kids.Yes, at the same time, you will have to be available not for one but two kids all over your life and there is no guarantee that your siblings will remain each – other’s best friends in life. In truth, there is so guarantee for anything.

I always say, raising a child is beautiful, raising two is ultimate joy but it comes with a lot of personal, financial & social responsibility which should be taken with a clear head and open heart. So whether you are in the “one and done” category or in “the more, the merrier” category, understand that both are perfectly ok. It’s your personal choice as a couple and a decision you’’ll take after considering so many parameters. Same decision cannot be a fit for every couple. Your sense of purpose and resolve gets enhanced with two kids somehow but only when both the partners support this idea.

Having two kids is definitely an ultimate joy. If you feel you are ready to swim in this ocean of joy, bear in your mind that there will be sweat and there will be reward – both in this journey.